HTF Zombieland- Chap. 1

God Bless America,
Land that I love.
Stand beside her, and guide her
thru the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans, white with foam
God bless America, My home sweet home.



I wish I could still call this America.

Six months ago, Lumpy, now known as patient Zero, ate a contaminated burger.

Oops.

He turned into a more hideous, yes; he turned even MORE ugly, cannibal creature.

A zombie.

Well the now undead dumbass went on a rampage. He bite three people before someone finally killed him. But, the three people he bit turned into zombies. And they bit people, and those people bit people, and those people bit some people….

Eventually, there became more zombies than Happy Tree Friends.

Quickly, everyone turned into a flesh eating beast.

Everyone but me of course.

My name is Flippy.

And I'm surviving the zombie apocalypse.

~


You're probably thinking, "How can a guy like him be the last person alive?"

Simple.

I was signed up for the army, but I never went.

I'm sure you know why.

But anyway, I spent a lot of time prepping for war, so I spent a lot of time practicing kicking ass.

Good thing I did that instead of playing World of Warcraft, like I normally do.

Another thing you're thinking.

What the hell is an eighteen year old going to do now?

Well, my girlfriend, Flaky, dumped my ass a few weeks before the zombies took over.

Apparently, she was interested in another man, and I didn't "treat her well".

Hey, I let her watch me play video games.

That is the life.

Anyway, she left me and started dating this other man.

I don't know if Flaky is still alive, but I sure hope to God that girl stealing shit bag is dead.

So I'm on my way to see if my princess is still alive.

My God, I hope so.

I just hope when all of this blows over, zombies will learn to play World of Warcraft.